"Don't Bother" by Tahreen Fatima

Don't Bother

You think I'm stupid because I can't converse with people I've just met

But, I've never wanted to be one in any kind of gathering.

Yes, I'm awkward even around my cousins.

I grew up as the oldest girl in my family, who didn't have any friends in the neighbourhood.

As I advanced into teenage and neared adulthood, I was forced to mingle with people and spark conversations with guests I met once in many years.

I was forced, not just because I needed to have good social manners rather than just keeping to myself (which, by the way, is considered rude),

I was forced because otherwise people would give a negative tag to my personality. 

Keeping to myself and not getting involved in family fun, is considered a poisonous thought.

I've learnt that people will call you timid and sometimes, emotionless, if you stay aloof.

Sometimes, I do mingle with my close family and friends,

Only after convincing myself that it's okay to be different.

But it's not me who needs convincing, it's the people who try to change me.

I've learnt the hard way that every person perceives things differently.

When I've allowed myself to accept people's personalities as they are, can't they accept the mere fact that I am different from them?



They are cool with being the center of attention.

I am not.

They're okay with playing any kind of game with anyone.

I am not.

They're bold when they speak their mind, even if they're wrong.

Whereas, I can't even speak my mind without getting judged for thinking differently, or knowing more than other people do.

They have many friends.

And I'm called awkward and stupid for having few friends.

Let me tell you,

The few I have are truer than the ones you talk to.

Yet, people are always trying to change me.



I don't like being too friendly with anyone.

Don't push me to do that.

I have a dark, different sense of humour.

Don't try to pull me to the other side.

I'm awkward around people I've known since birth.

Don't ask me for reasons.

I do sit around and play along with people I know well.

Just don't tell me to talk more.

You do know that I'm always aloof and silent.



You may also think I'm emotionless.

But what you don't know is,

My heart is filled with all kinds of emotions, threatening to burst out.

I keep my thoughts to myself, because I'm afraid of the fact that people will judge me for being different.

My mind is way more talkative than your mouth.

I'm happy in solitude and I like talking to myself.



But now, it's not my turn to understand.

It is yours to accept me for who I am and not try to mould me into what you want.

Because you can strike only when the iron is hot.

I'm a complete, shining sword.

I'm an introvert, not awkward.

So, don't bother changing me!

                                                                                                                 - Tahreen Fatima (BSc BtCFs)